The Real Word:
A Little Lenten Mourning
March 5th was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and the day that ashes
are blessed and used to mark the foreheads of Catholics as a sign of penance.
The sign is done with ashes because ashes are a biblical symbol of mourning
and penance. And as Jesus told us in the beatitudes, mourning is actually
a good thing!
Blessed are those who mourn? How can
mourning be a good thing?
It can be a confusing concept, and very difficult to grasp. How can “mourning”
be a good thing? What we have to realize is that, in calling those who
mourn blessed, Jesus is not saying that there is anything pleasant in
mourning. People mourn because of tragedy and terrible suffering. Some
of that suffering is the result of human sin, such as violence inflicted
on the innocent or abject poverty imposed on people without means.
When
done in a health way, mourning makes the individual more aware of the
pain and suffering around him. He becomes sensitive to the injustice in
the world, and his eyes seem to easily focus on others who are hurting.
But if he focuses all of his attention inward and takes on the “poor
me” attitude, the results are drastically different. In this case,
he is not able to see pain and suffering around him, because he is blind
to everything except his own issues. True mourning is a lot different
than wallowing in self pity!
That’s not to say that we can’t mourn for ourselves; for when
we mourn our own sins, it is called repentance. This is the type of mourning
that Catholics should do during Lent. For if you are truly sad and sorry
for something you did (or didn’t do), then that brings you a step
closer to reconciliation and repentance.
"...for they shall be comforted."
We are all human beings, and we all have our faults and failings. We all,
too, have our doubts and fears, which make us a people who are somewhat
poor in spirit. But Jesus made us a promise -- that we would be comforted
-- and so sometimes we have to simply rely on God to comfort us and hold
us because we know that God is always there.
It is God who gives us strength to go on living after we lose a family
member or loved one, get fired from a job, or move to a new school. Often
working through other people, God the Father comforts us and provides
the strength we need to continue.
Jesus’ promise to us is not simply words, however. And it is not
meant to be a consolation prize to people who have suffered. God has assured
us that we will be comforted, and He calls others to do so.
“The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; He has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to comfort all who mourn, to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning.” (Isaiah 61:1-3)
“Don’t cry. It will be all right ... ”
It’s safe to say that most people don’t like to mourn. In fact,
most of us like to feel happy -- and we prefer to be around happy people.
Yet, Jesus expects us to walk in His footsteps and carry our cross.
“ ... and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after
me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:38)
Everyone’s life includes some kind of suffering -- even teens. Friends
come and go; parents fight and sometimes separate; pets are lost or die.
As a person on the outside, there is a tremendous urge to say things like,
“Don’t cry. It’ll be all right.”
On the surface, it sounds like a Christian response based upon faith.
But in truth, it’s only half correct. More often than not, the “It’ll
be all right” part is okay -- but the “Don’t cry”
has got to go.
When you experience a time of mourning -- either yours, or someone else’s
-- try to remember that tears can be very cleansing. They help us to express
our feelings, allow others the opportunity to reach out to us, and permit
us to begin healing.
Stifling tears is rarely a good choice, yet many of us find ourselves
trying to make things better, to resolve problems and to fix things. And
so we say things like, “Don’t cry” when what the other
person probably needs is for us to simply listen, love and support them.
During this Lenten season, keep an eye out for the pain and suffering
in the world around you. And the next time someone you know is mourning,
take a few moments to say a quiet prayer of your own. Ask God for the
grace to experience and share His comforting love with them, and then
take the time to listen and suffer alongside of them.
Life Applications:
When was a time that you mourned? Were you blessed?
When did you comfort another who was mourning? What did you do?
How do you feel about people displaying emotions by crying?
“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Forgive me Lord for not reaching out to those who are depressed or lonely, for my failure to comfort those in need of consolation, for the selfishness that has blinded me to the needs and pains of others.”
-- from An Examination of Conscience Using the Beatitudes by Fr Tom Groenewold
By Brandon Jubar
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