FAITHteen | Issue #2

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From Bishop Mengeling

What's Up With That?:
Feeling Down?

3 Questions to ask yoursef:
1 How do you deal with suffering?
2 Where do you turn when you're down?
3 What has suffering taught you?

It's not the end of the world:
The Cycle of Suffering

I can still remember walking down senior hall thinking, "She's so pretty ... he's so smart ... they are too cool ... and I am just a big dork." Today I can laugh about that tortuous time, because I now realize that almost everyone else was feeling just as awkward and out of place as me. But at the time, my suffering was very real.

Suffering can mean different things to different people. Often, as teenagers, suffering comes in the form of embarrassment, humiliation, or low self-esteem. But it can also come in the form of deeper problems; those problems that you wish you could just run and hide from. Many teens have to deal with divorced parents, sick relatives, death, alcoholism, the end of relationships, crushed dreams, and so much more. Situations like these bring real pain and hurts to life, especially during the growth and transition of the teenage years.

In the past I have talked with teens about suffering and we've decided that it is simply a part of being a Christian. Unfortunately, many people seem to believe that because they are Christians they deserve to go through this life in peace. Nothing could be further from the truth!

You see, Jesus gave us a model for living called the Paschal Mystery - suffering, death, and resurrection. It is a natural cycle. I suffer, a part of my life dies, and new life follows. Perhaps it's a friendship that causes me to suffer, and then the friendship ends. But the "death" of this friendship leads to meeting some new friends - new life.

The most important thing to remember is that it is a cycle, and you need to avoid getting stuck in the suffering. It is not a good place to spend the rest of your life.

My personal story of pain close to home

When I was a pre-teen, my mother battled cancer and the radiation and chemotherapy that followed. She eventually recovered from the disease, only to develop myelodysplasia three years later. This disease was to be a precursor to leukemia.

A question that I asked over and over again during both traumatic periods was if my mom was going to die. From 5th grade to about 10th grade that devastating thought kept creeping into my mind. My mom suffered, I suffered, the whole family suffered. And one aspect of the suffering was just plain fear.

There was also real physical suffering. When my mom first came out of surgery, she had so many tubes and IV's hooked up to her that I could not count them all. And during chemo mom would gag and puke, walk around in a daze, and eventually just lock herself in a room. It was just plain nasty pain.

My mom was the best teacher though; she showed me that suffering was just a part of life. She also proved to me that our life is not defined by the suffering we endure, but rather by the way we handle our suffering. I am very proud of my mother for handling those precious years the way she did.

She showed me courage when dealing with chemo; faith by never giving up on God; determination in the face of doctors and critics; hope by always believing that things would work out for the best; and grace with people and the cruel side effects of the diseases.

Find out how suffering can lead to better things

Suffering is real - very real. We will deal with it on many levels and in many forms, but as Christians we are called to move past the suffering. We are called to carry our crosses, and then learn and grow from the experience. Sometimes that experience and the way we deal with it will be an important lesson for those close to us.

The trick is to avoid getting stuck in the suffering. Sometimes relationships have to end. Sometimes our way of thinking has to end. This is not easy; many people like to hold on to suffering. They haven't learned how to live without it. Every event in their lives takes on some catastrophic meaning.

But it doesn't need to be that way. Jesus showed us the way. He suffered, died, and was resurrected. This tremendous gift to us redeemed us from sin, and gave us a model for living.
Remember, we are called. We are called to live life courageously. We are called to live through the Paschal Mystery.

RECAP:
3 Questions to ask yoursef:
1 How do you deal with suffering?
2 Where do you turn when you're down?
3 What has suffering taught you?

By Rod Hetherton