How To Have a Healthy Relationship
by Jim Corder
Given
time, most of us gain a different perspective on things, but many of us
fight to hold on to unhealthy relationships. Why does it have
to hurt so much? How should we react? And how do we know what's right?
A song taking the pop charts by storm is Jojo’s “Get Out (Leave).”
Get out (leave) right now, it's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
Cause I know about her (who?) and wonder (why) how I bought all the lies,
Said you would treat me right, but you was just a waste of time (waste
of time)
Love Hurts
There is nothing I can think of that is more painful than being
in a relationship that you believe is going to be that one, life-long
relationship, and then finding out that you were cheated on or lied to.
Whatever happened before doesn't matter, because now you know it's not
a relationship that will last. Pain like that can leave a person stunned,
depressed and, in the most extreme cases, feeling like it's the end of
their world.
In my experience, there tend to be two extreme types of people when it
comes to relationships. First, there are those who quickly fall into a
relationship. These are the people who dive right in -- mind, body and
heart. They are willing to give all they have right from the start in
order to make it work. Second, there are those who are very slow to move.
They must wait, check things out, and move little by little into a more
serious relationship. They are hesitant to commit and absolutely refuse
to be rushed.
Both of these extreme styles have advantages and disadvantages.
Tell me why you're looking so confused, when I'm the one who didn't
know the truth,
How could you ever be so cold, to go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head, cause you left her number
on your phone
Two Extremes
When we have been hurt by previous relationships, it can cause
us to be overly cautious and very untrusting. This causes us
to move slowly, which sometimes makes the other person decide that it's
not worth the effort to be involved with this type of person.
On the other side of the situation, it is important for people to not
dive into relationships time and time again, giving everything they have
and then wondering why a person isn’t ready for -- or even interested
in -- such a relationship. Also, our judgment can become clouded by the
love we feel for another, which makes us blind to many things.
Reality Check
One good way to see if your boyfriend or girlfriend is right for
you is by checking with the people you trust. What does your
family honestly think of this person? What do your three or four good
friends say about this person? Has this relationship caused you to become
out of touch with your good friends? What is God saying to you in prayer?
Have you prayed about it and asked for a better, higher perspective on
the relationship?
Most of us, at one time or another, have been hurt or have needed to breakup
with another person. It is one of the risks of being in relationships.
Sometimes, people just need to be apart for a while. Sometimes they need
to be apart forever. I believe that if there is a love relationship, it
will, through God’s help, return to the place it was meant to be.
So now after all is said and done, maybe I'm the one to blame
But to think that you could be the one, well it didn't work out that way
Remember, our lives are only really clear to us when we look back
on them. When we are in the middle of stress, conflict or sadness,
it is tough to see why or how this can be happening to us. But if we know
that love can hurt, that we must avoid the extremes, and that others can
provide a reality check, we stand a better chance of ending up in a healthy
relationship.
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