The Reason
by Dcn Jim Corder
Many of us have a friendship or some other relationship that we have damaged
because we were selfish or foolish. When we put our wants and needs ahead
of the other persons', it usually results in hurt feelings. If this is
done often, it can cause the relationship to be forever changed.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
The pain goes both ways
Hoobastank's hottest song can help us explain how it feels when this happens. It can also let the other person know how it feels to live with the knowledge that you've hurt someone you care about. That burden is sometimes a heavy one, but putting your thoughts and feelings into words -- sharing the pain with someone -- can provide some relief. And perhaps the song "Reason" will help you express how you feel.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
Asking
for forgiveness is something that is necessary in any relationship. It
is all part of the experience of being friends, dating or simply being
part of a family. Spending time with another person will almost always
lead to us unintentionally -- or perhaps intentionally -- hurting that
person. It is merely one of the many hazards of living.
Yet sometimes we can hurt another so badly that it can cause the person
to no longer want to be our friend, our "significant other,"
or even acknowledge us as a part of the family. So what should we do when
someone we've hurt doesn't even want us to be a part of their lives anymore?
Say "I'm sorry" (and mean it)
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Seeking forgiveness is sometimes the only thing we can do. We have to say that we are sorry and mean it. If we try instead to justify our actions by explaining away what we have done, it usually leads to more hurt and greater bitterness.
However, when we say we are sorry (and mean it), we are on the road to forgiveness. Just saying the words "I'm Sorry" tends to help relieve some of the pressure we feel. And then, if we truly want to be forgiven, we need to let the person we've hurt verbally express that hurt. In a relationship -- even a damaged one -- honest communication can be the key.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
It's up to both of you
Ultimately it comes down to the person that you have hurt. Are they willing
to forgive you? If not, then at some point you need to say, "I have
tried all I could to let you know just how sorry I am." That is one
of the risks of being in a close relationship. Sometimes our mistakes
cannot be fixed -- and those mistakes are the ones that teach us the most
about life.
Hopefully, the person is willing to forgive you. (Perhaps dedicating this
song to them is a great way to let that special person know how you really
feel!) But no matter what, if you work as though everything depends upon
you, and pray as though everything depends upon God, then everything will
work out. We can never make someone love us; we can only give them all
of the "Reason" -- than the rest is up to them.
Life Applications:
When was a time that you hurt someone close to you? How did it happen?
Is seeking forgiveness easy or hard? Why?
How do you feel when someone you care about does something to hurt you?
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