It's Your Life, So Stand Your Ground
by Jim Corder
The group No Doubt has been around since the early ’90s, but
their song "It's My Life" is actually a remake from the ’80s
-- maybe that's why I like it so much. Regardless, the song reminds us
that we all need to remember to look in the mirror from time to time in
order to keep it "real." Our relationships and our values must
be able to live together. If not, one will have to change. Will we walk
away from the relationship or will we walk away from our values? Which
will it be?
Oh, It's my life... (oh, it’s my life)
Don't you forget... (don’t you forget)
Caught in the crowd... (caught in the crowd)
It never ends (it never ends...)
Reality usually causes you to come up with one of two conclusions about
the relationship:
1. Perhaps some traits or qualities of this person are annoying, but overall, this is someone who helps me to be a better person; or
2. This person causes me to go against what I know is right and does not help me to become the kind of person I would like to be.
When
your values and your relationships are in conflict, it can be very painful.
Following your values in those instances cannot only cause people to reject
you, but it can also cause you to end relationships, even if you don’t
want to.
Following your values can lead to persecution and
pain.
It's funny how I find myself
In love with you
If I could buy my reasoning
I'd pay to lose
One half won't do
Our Christian faith sometimes can cause difficulties in friendships, dating,
and even with family members. If these people oppose what you know to
be right,, then there can be real suffering. When someone you love rejects
you for what you believe, decisions to repond can be painful -- they can
cut very deep.
What could it be that might cause you to need to move
out of a relationship?
When someone encourages you to participate in dangerous activities
they are not doing what is best for you. For example, if someone is
trying to get you to use drugs, they are asking you do something that
is illegal, immoral and harmful to your well-being. No good boyfriend
or girlfriend should ever expect you to do such things.
I've asked myself
How much do you
Commit yourself?
Once you have set boundaries regarding sexual activity, someone who
truly loves you should never expect you to be sexually active. Someone
who truly loves you will respect such boundaries. Anytime a person values
modesty and abstinence, it should be treated with great respect, for standing
on such principles is holy. When someone fails to comply, it means that
they don’t really respect you.
If the value of your faith is not respected by that special person
in your life, then are they really that special? If Church is important
to you, then you must make it known to the person you are dating. Prayer,
Mass, and other ways of worshiping God are very important to us as Christians,
so they must be important to those closest to us.
How do you know when it's time to make a stand for
what you believe?
Many times, standing your ground and letting people know what is really
important doesn’t mean people will simply give in to you. And sometimes
you may question if you really should give up a relationship over principles.
However, the values we hold up will be worth it in the long run.
Funny how I blind myself
I never knew
If I was sometimes played upon
Afraid to lose
If you have examined your heart and found that this is the hill that you
are willing to stand and fight on, then that is what you must do. For
even when we are persecuted, even when it costs us the people we love
and care about, sometimes the greater good must win out. This is true
whether it hurts a little or an awful lot.
Is making a stand really worth it in the long run?
As with all persecution, faith and time will heal such pain. We know that
Jesus was persecuted -- betrayed by the people whom he loved. When we
feel abandoned and persecuted, we must remember the way, the truth, and
the life of Jesus. If we follow the course (which means sometimes doing
the hard thing) we are promised that it will make a difference. Either
in this life or in the next, all of the confusion and all of the pain
will give way to love and peace.
Oh, I'd tell myself
What good do you do
Convince myself
Have you been hurt before in a relationship? Was it because you had to
stand up for a value? As much as this can hurt, the pain will be healed
with time. The important thing is that we know that, when we are doing
the right thing, such pain will eventually be worth it and make us stronger.
You must remember that it is your life. So live it with the conviction
and values that you know are right.
Persecution is difficult. Breaking up with the so-called "perfect"
boyfriend or girlfriend can be tough. Think of the many saints who did
the right thing even though it cost them their lives. If you stand on
principles you will never be standing alone, even if you don’t realize
it. You are doing the right thing. Don’t give in.
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