FAITHteen | Issue #12

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The Real WORD:
How To Handle Harassment
by Brandon Jubar

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:10)

Being Catholic in today's society is not easy. The Catholic Church has endured recent crises that have tested the faith of many people, and these tragic events have cast a shadow on the Church in the eyes of many non-Catholics. But even without these events, being a moral, Christian teenager often means being teased and harassed.

Standing up for something that is not part of pop-culture in high school has always been hard, and these days it may be even more difficult. Yet, as with most things, we can look to Jesus and the Word for some excellent ideas on how to handle harassment.

Step 1: Confuse Your Enemies by Loving Them

Jesus understood very well that loving your friends is easy. But Jesus wasn't about taking the easy way out -- he was about getting to heaven. But how do you love your enemies, really?

Well, first you have to realize that we're not talking about the warm, fuzzy, emotional sort of "love." We're talking about Christian love. That means we have to put others before ourselves and do things that bring goodness to the other person, with no regard for what we "get out of it."

I guarantee you that if you are kind and generous to people who pick on or bully you, they won't be sure what to think! People become uncertain when they expect a negative response but get a positive one instead. So the first thing you need to do is confuse your "enemies" by loving them.

"But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you … " (Matt 5:44)

Step 2: Disarm Your Enemies by Ignoring Their Attacks

My mother always told me to ignore my brother and he would stop bugging me. It never worked, but not because it's a poor tactic. It never worked because I didn't have the patience to stick to it.

When someone insults you, they expect to get a reaction -- usually a negative or violent one. But if you do the opposite and don't react at all to their barbs, they won't know what to do. Eventually they will grow disinterested, but you have to have patience.

Remember that it takes a stronger person to endure insults and persecution than it does to fight back. And it is often the stubbornly non-violent person who is the most respected in the long run. When you rise above the insults, you are definitely above the one who is doing the insulting.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10)

Step 3: Win the War by Losing the Battles

Throughout history, the Church has survived while many individuals have not. Some of these people became saints, and they continue to intercede on our behalf even though they are no longer alive. They were people who stood up for what they believed in, regardless of the consequences.

Losing a battle is no big deal. Letting someone "get the best of you" should not be cause for embarrassment. To be more like Jesus, we have to think long-term. Who can dish out the worst insults is not important. What's important is who can endure the most.

If you can withstand verbal attacks without getting sucked into doing the same, you will be much better off in the end. There will always be someone with a more offensive slur than you, but who can top the person who takes it all in stride? You may lose the battle of words, but you'll win the war for what is right and just.

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the Gospel will save it." (Mark 8: 35)

Wrapping It Up

Enduring persecution is not "giving in." On the contrary, "giving in" is going along with the crowd so that you won't be harassed. When I compromise my principles in order to avoid pain or embarrassment, I've truly lost.

But enduring persecution does not have to be unbearable, and we do not need to sit and do nothing. We just need to make sure that what we choose to do is Christ-like.

So the next time someone ridicules you for what you believe in, take three little steps. Confuse them by showing Christian love, disarm them by ignoring their verbal abuse, and win the war by gracefully losing some battles.

Life Applications:
How do you stand up for what you believe in?
What does it feel like to take an unpopular stance on something?
Why do so many people just go with the crowd?

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