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In the Know with Fr. Joe

From Bishop Mengeling

The Real WORD

Does This Type of Friend Sound Familiar?

Having someone who will laugh with you, cry with you, celebrate and mourn with you - that is a special gift. Though we should treat all people with dignity and respect, a true friend is someone to be highly valued. And a true friend is definitely a blessing from the Lord.

But I have known people who don't seem to agree with me. They trash-talk "friends" behind their backs, they are overly critical and very judgmental, and they demand a great deal from their friends, while offering very little in return.

I knew a guy in high school who thought that friends were supposed to listen to everything he had to say, never talk about their own problems and concerns, haul him around wherever had wanted to go, and then leave him alone when he had someone else he wanted to hang out with. For him, friends were simply means to an end - tools for him to use. The end, of course, was his personal satisfaction. He did not see friends as being a gift from God, and it showed.

Do You Know Any "Users"?
Scripture Reflection for Sunday, October 6, 2002
Reading I: Isaiah 5:1-7
Reading II: Philippians 4:6-9
Gospel: Matthew 21:33-43

In the parable of the wicked tenants, these people were given a vineyard to manage and maintain, but when the owner sent his servants (and eventually his son) to collect the fruits, the tenants beat them and killed them. They became greedy and self-serving, forgetting that the vineyard was not truly theirs.

When God gives us the gift of another person, whether it be as a family member, a friend, or a "love interest", we cannot forget that it is our job to manage and maintain that relationship. The other person is not there to be used for our personal pleasure, though we may gain a great deal of pleasure from a relationship that has been cared for properly.

All of the people in our lives are God's creations, and all may be part of the kingdom of God. But if we treat our families poorly, take advantage of our friends, and act as though our girlfriends or boyfriends are nothing more than playthings, then we are no better than the wicked tenants in Jesus' parable.

And if we are like the wicked tenants, we should not be surprised when we lose the precious gifts of family, friends, or loved ones. For as Jesus said, "Therefore, I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit."

So let's take care of our relationships, tend them well, and treat them as the gifts they truly are.

Life Applications:
How would you describe your relationship with your family? Friends? Girlfriend or boyfriend?
How would you describe your relationship with God?
What have you done recently to improve these relationships?

The Gift of Relationships

Everyone has gifts that the Lord has given - especially you, as a teen. We have talents and abilities. We have blessings such as food, clothing, and shelter. We have free will and the ability to choose our own paths in the world. And we have a gift that may appear to be a mixed blessing, yet is one of the most precious gifts of all - each other.

Brace Yourself for the Differences

Before I was in elementary school, I had the naive belief that all families were like mine. I just assumed that everyone had a mother, father, and a sibling or two. I imagined that all of my friends had parents who argued occasionally, yelled at the kids once in a while, but got along pretty well the majority of the time. And I believed that all of my friends had parents who loved them - and told them that quite frequently.

It wasn't until I was older that I learned the truth.

Eventually, I learned that my friends had a wide variety of family situations. I had friends whose parents were divorced - or were never married in the first place. One had a father who had died when he was young; another had been adopted when she was a baby; still another had parents who slept in separate bedrooms and never spoke to each other.

I grew up in a loving home, and I truly valued my family - even when I was angry with them. But many of my friends scoffed at that. They wanted nothing more than to grow up and get out of their parents' house. Family was not a blessing to them - it was an unpleasant but necessary step in their journey towards independence. Many of my friends did not see their families as being a gift from God, and it showed.

The Dating Game

Back in the day, before I was an old married man, I did my share of dating. In fact, I dated quite a bit. And other than a couple times, I remained friends with my "ex-girlfriends" long after we stopped dating.

Was it because I am such a nice guy? Perhaps. But I believe the main reason is because I treated every girl I dated with respect. I wasn't always a gentleman. I would forget to open doors, I'd say embarrassing things in public, and even make some typical "guy" comments. But when all was said and done, I truly liked and cared for every girl I dated.

I knew plenty of people who didn't see things that way - both guys and girls. They saw members of the opposite sex as playthings, and a means to an end. The "end", as with so many other situations, was their personal satisfaction. These people didn't see the relationship between a man and a woman as being something extraordinary - something to be cherished - but rather as a game to be played. And that mentality allowed them to frivolously toy with the emotions of others. These people did not see a boyfriend or girlfriend as being a gift from God, and it showed.

By Brandon Jubar